While some couples build their lives around a house, Mario and I have built ours around the world. We’ve made 25 countries our home in the last three years, one shared adventure at a time.
I, an American, was already traveling the world alone when I met him, an Italian, in Portugal, and I wasn’t going to let a man mess up my plans. After three months of knowing each other, we were committed to a lifestyle on the road — or, in this case, in the air.
We both work remotely; he builds apps, and I write. He quit his in-person job to travel the world right before we met and I haven’t worked in an office in over eight years. To save money, we don’t buy a lot of material things, and we have no need to take a vacation if we feel we’re always on one. Traveling forces us to have a better work-life balance and make more time for each other.
Communication is crucial
The way we live means that we’ve had to really dial in our communication. We’ve lived all over the world, from Colombia to Korea to Morocco, spending days to months in each country. Because we’re not staying long, we tend to stay in an Airbnb.
We’re honest when we’re tired and we check in with each other about how we’re feeling. Living in tight quarters has only helped our communication. We address problems early to prevent them from escalating. It’s OK to get tired of each other, but we have to be very intentional about alone time when we rely on each other for so much.
We also have to acknowledge that parts of this lifestyle are hard and be ready for the other person to want to quit at any point. We’re away from everything familiar: our families, our comfort foods, and often, our native languages.
In each country, we have to start over by locating a grocery store, building up a gym routine, and delegating chores. We often get lost, and sometimes we go days without talking to anyone but each other. In some ways, whenever we move, we feel like we are restarting our relationship, and a new routine gives us the chance to approach how we communicate in a different way.
Supporting each other through those tough times is key. When we got in a car crash in a snowstorm in a tiny town in Switzerland, we cried in each other’s arms as I looked at the most picturesque snow-capped mountain view I’d ever seen. In a city park in Bogota, we jumped into a ditch as a security guard shot someone running past us. I’ve battled loneliness, bike falls, and food poisoning, and Mario is there for whatever I need. In every new city, problem, or scary situation, we come face-to-face with ourselves and each other, growing stronger with each challenge.
We’ve experienced 25 different cultures together
We appreciate our cultural differences more than if we didn’t leave our countries. Traveling means we’re often in ‘neutral territory,’ and it’s interesting to see which of our traditions we hold onto and what they look like through the lens of other cultures. It’s forced us to confront our biases and embrace the best of both worlds. I’ve questioned what parts of American culture I want to keep or shed and which Italian habits I can pick up. He now shares my love of Thanksgiving, and I appreciate bidets and a good espresso.
We’ve loved 25 different versions of each other, and we renew our unspoken contract with every new country to love the next version of each other. Traveling is going to change us every day, and it’s beautiful to see someone you love learn and grow in ways you had never imagined.
We’ve talked about typical milestones like buying a house and having kids. We’re happy without those things. Instead, we keep a spreadsheet of things we’ve done for the first time — ax throwing, taekwondo, batik painting, and swimming in the rain. We want a life that’s flexible and one where we can say ‘yes’ to anything.
We watch how other couples interact and ask what we want from each other and out of life. So far, traveling and learning from the world is it. When we settle into each location, he jokes that this is us moving in together for the ‘first time,’ and this constant novelty and exploration of our world and each other have kept us in love.
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