The end of a career — especially when we’re not the ones choosing it — can bring about feelings of anger, as well as grief related to the loss of professional identity, purpose, community, and routine.
Many federal employees are now dealing with these heavy emotions and are overwhelmed from now needing to think about a retirement they once assumed to be five or 10 years away.
As a lawyer and retirement transition expert, I’ve helped many career professionals plan for what comes next when they confront an unplanned retirement.
The reality is that, forced or not, unprocessed anger and grief should never be the defining features of one’s retirement. And going into retirement without proper planning is foreshadowing disaster. Here are seven steps to take if you’re forced to retire before you’re ready.
1. Recognize feelings of anger and grief
While working through these negative emotions can seem deeply unpleasant, processing your anger and grieving these losses are important for a positive transition.
For one thing, unprocessed anger and grief can harden into a form of permanent bitterness and risk defining a rewarding multi-decade career by one moment — its endpoint.
2. Understand retirement can be stressful
Retirement is a major life change and can be a stressful experience for everyone — no matter the circumstances: Research indicates that retirement can be among life’s most stressful events.
If you’re concerned about who you will be or how your life will work in retirement, you’re not alone. It can be helpful to connect with others who have been through or are going through a similar situation.
3. Redefine your identity during retirement
I regularly see my clients struggle with what feels like the loss of their very identity as they contemplate retirement. It’s common to build your identity around the major roles that you play in life, and your career often supplies one or more of those roles.
When you have to let those go, it can feel like an existential threat.
During retirement, it’s important to explore and reconnect with enduring aspects of your identity beyond just your career roles. How can you invest more in other roles now that you have more free time? What new roles could you embrace to enrich your life?
4. Find new sources of meaning and engagement
Think about the aspects of your working life that you loved the most. Consider new contexts or opportunities to continue working in those ways.
For example, if one enjoyable aspect of your professional life includes mentoring younger people, look for new opportunities to leverage that experience. Or if you have deep expertise in a certain industry, perhaps you can use that experience to speak, consult, or write in those areas.
It’s important to find activities and pursuits that provide a sense of purpose, contribution, and connection.
5. Reframe retirement as a “graduation”
My favorite reframe is to consider retirement another form of graduation, which speaks to the opportunity and possibility that waits on the other side of this change.
Instead of viewing retirement as only an end, remember that it’s also a new beginning filled with opportunities for growth and new challenges.
6. Plan beyond finances
While financial security is important, it’s crucial to plan for other aspects of life.
Human beings need some form of structure to thrive. With the loss of the structure provided by working life, it becomes important to design new routines, habits, and metrics to measure progress in life.
Think intentionally about how you will invest in your relationships, health, and personal interests — given more space and time. Don’t just default to the old habits and routines that you developed to accommodate your work schedule.
7. Above all, remember to enjoy the ride
Often, what first seems to be an unwanted circumstance quickly evolves into an exciting opportunity.
As you let go of what has been, remain open to what now might become. Enjoy the path as it unfolds, and surround yourself with others who can take an optimistic view of the adventure ahead.
Elizabeth Zelinka Parsons, J.D., is a retirement transition expert, lawyer, and cofounder of two consulting firms. On February 5, she released her book “Encore: A High Achiever’s Guide to Thriving in Retirement.”
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