My twin sister and I are seven minutes apart. We’ve worked together, traveled together, and, for the past five years, rented our two-bedroom flat together.
We’re now in the position of trying to buy our first house together, and it hasn’t been easy. Both of us have found new jobs and are saving as much as possible while also paying rent and living our lives. Now, with some financial help from our family, we have spent the past few weeks house-hunting.
Joint home ownership was an obvious next step for us. We’ve endured every argument we could have had, overcome many different situations, and weathered family secrets and friend fallouts by each other’s side.
The one thing neither of us has ever experienced is a serious relationship. At 28, we’ve both been perpetually single, with a few dates and encounters sprinkled through the years. I’m very lucky to have a built-in best friend who shares many of the same opinions and dreams as me, who I can turn to when I want to try somewhere new for dinner or when I want to go on holiday.
While I’m very lucky to have someone I can buy a house with, the reality of the situation is setting in, and I’m starting to get cold feet.
I started to worry about making such a huge commitment
Buying a house is a huge financial decision, a lifetime commitment that we’ve always aspired to, but I can’t help but be bogged down by anxious thoughts. What if such a big financial commitment causes issues for us further down the line? What if one of us meets someone and then needs to get out of our mortgage? What if one of us gets a job that requires relocation?
Many of my friends have also echoed worries about the potential long-term impact of making such a huge decision. Many of them have bought their own house after they’ve settled down with a long-term partner and a job they plan to stay in for life, whereas I’m not as settled. I love that I’m not tied down right now and that I have very few responsibilities. I could move to another city next week if I wanted.
After falling in love with a house we viewed, I decided it was time to be honest with my sister about my doubts and fears. My sister and I might share similar opinions on food, music, films, and clothes, but we differ in how we feel about buying a house right now.
I talked to my sister about my fears
While I was riddled with anxiety and apprehensiveness, I had no idea how she felt, and in our discussion, I saw that she was steadfast in her opinion that buying a house together is the right decision. She is of the opinion that these hypothetical issues shouldn’t prevent us from a major life decision.
I’m glad I opened up because we started to work through our differing opinions with understanding and compassion. I feel immense relief after sharing my fears, and even though I didn’t think it was possible, we feel even closer now.
Although I still share those same worries, I’ve decided to stop letting hypothetical fears get in the way of something my sister and I both want. We’ve discussed what will happen if one of us gets into a relationship and we need to buy the other out, and even though we haven’t put anything in writing or legalized anything, we have agreed to handle it with as much honesty as possible. My family has even promised to be the go-between if any issues arise in the future and will step in to help broker a deal between us.
We’ve decided to move forward and put an offer on the house we both loved. I’ve decided to look at the situation in a positive light after realizing how happy I am with where I live, who I live with, and what my life might look like if I owned my own home.
Whether we get the house or not is up to a myriad of contributing factors. But what I’ve taken away from this experience is that it will be an adventure, and that’s one of the many things my sister and I do well together.
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