My son is in grad school and loving what he’s studying. But it wasn’t an easy road to get here.
He was unsure about undergrad at first, chose a random major, and regretted it come graduation day. Looking back, he wonders if he should’ve taken a gap year between high school and college to figure out what he really wanted.
We’ve recently both reflected on his undergraduate years. It’s clear he made some mistakes, but he found his way and is on the right path now.
My son felt rushed into a college decision
In hindsight, my son wasn’t ready for college and didn’t know what he wanted to do.
He was coming off four insanely busy and stressful years of high school. He simply didn’t have the time to process or even consider his future.
I wish we’d discussed a gap year or delaying college, which would have given him time to figure out the right move for him, instead of following what was expected.
He agrees. He told me he often wishes he hadn’t gone into college so quickly.
We should’ve had more honest conversations about his major
During May of his senior year, my son struggled. It was time to graduate and figure out what’s next.
For most careers, college isn’t the place where you learn about what the day-to-day is like, how to get an entry-level role, and what you’ll earn.
It wasn’t until he was job searching in those last few months of school that my son really learned about entry-level opportunities in his field.
The actual day-to-day work wasn’t what he had been learning about in school, and the pay was quite low.
He knew that if he wanted to continue pursuing this career path, he’d need a master’s degree, probably a doctorate. He figured he’d need five more years and $60,000 of schooling for something he really wasn’t sure he wanted to do.
He shared that he was quickly learning the whole philosophy he had been told in high school and college was wrong: “You can’t go to college for four years and get a decent job. For most professions, it’s just not true,” he told me.
I wish he had become involved in an activity earlier
Beyond the choices he made early on in his college career, he also made some mistakes during his first couple of years on campus.
He was a coed cheerleader in high school but didn’t want that level of commitment anymore. He was simply too burned out from high school cheer to participate on his college campus. This was another incident where a gap year could’ve helped.
We both wish he had done an activity in those first years, but he eventually joined cheerleading as a junior. He made new friends and had memorable experiences cheering at games and nationals.
Luckily, my son went to community college first to save money
We live in Illinois, and state schools are expensive here. For the 2023-2024 school year, Illinois in-state tuition averaged $18,155.
Therefore, he made a great decision: He enrolled in an excellent community college, which was a more affordable way to explore majors and adapt to having more independence. He saved thousands by exploring what he wanted to study at a cheaper school.
He then attended the UWM in his sophomore year. He lived on campus, and the cost was about $18,000 a year.
Although it was a bumpy road, my son finally found his passion a few years after graduation when he started therapy.
Now he’s studying to be a licensed professional counselor and recommends knowing what you want to do before college. He says work in the field, have personal experiences, and talk to people on the job. Enroll when you have figured out what you have a true passion for.
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