In 2024, I went on a two-week solo trip to Europe, visiting Greece, Turkey, London, and Barcelona. I was used to traveling solo and had lived in London from 2013 to 2017, so it was comfortable territory.
A few months before leaving, I put a pause on dating. I was exhausted from the dates I had been on and wanted to give myself some time to regroup. But once I arrived in Greece, my first destination, I downloaded Tinder.
I kept my expectations low when it came to dating abroad
It was the hopeless romantic in me that made the decision. I love reading romance novels and hearing stories of people meeting their partners while traveling abroad, and I secretly dreamed that I’d meet a partner outside America, but still, I kept my expectations low.
I was open to the idea of a relationship, but mostly, I just hoped to squeeze in a few cute dates and meet some interesting people along the way. Yet, my now-boyfriend was one of the first people I swiped right on.
There was an instant connection between us
My partner lives in London. We matched while I was in Greece and spent a week talking on WhatsApp before the London portion of my summer vacation. We bonded over our love of live music; he had just seen SZA in concert and sent me videos of her singing my favorite songs.
By the time I arrived in London, he had our first date planned out.
We started at Kioku Sake Bar, inside the Raffles London at The OWO, and then went to the 8 at the Londoner in Leicester Square. We shared lobster tempura with a view of Big Ben that felt unreal. Our conversation flowed, and from the moment we met, it felt oddly natural.
I messaged him the next day to ask if he wanted to get afternoon tea before I left for Spain.
I wasn’t sure if we’d continue dating when I went back to the US
Three days later, I went back to the US. Although we were talking every day at that point, I expected a few polite texts, then a slow fizzle. I didn’t want to get my hopes up — we were thousands of miles apart, and I would have understood if he didn’t want to keep up the effort.
Instead, he booked a flight to see me while I was home visiting family in Chicago a month later. And two months after that, I was back in London.
It felt bold, spontaneous, and at the same time, weirdly comfortable.
We’re long-distance now, and communication is key
In a long-distance relationship, everything feels accelerated. We had to learn how to communicate our expectations early on so we wouldn’t waste each other’s time. In those first few months, we started using an app called Just Us, which asks relationship questions from how you like to spend your alone time to what holidays with your family look like.
We’d talk about the questions over the phone; it became a fun ritual that helped us get to know each other better and opened the door for deeper conversations.
Travel brought us together in the beginning, and it still does
Not only have we visited each other where we both are from — London for him, Chicago for me — but we’ve also made memories in the spaces in between. Together, we’ve traveled to Japan, Austria, and New York. We celebrated my birthday with samba music in Brazil and wandered the shopping alleys of Paris for his.
We’ve cried (mostly me) over lost luggage, overpacked for weekend trips, sprinted for trains, and laughed through every bit of it. It’s now been a year since we met, and our relationship has been marked by passport stamps.
We’ve put a lot of intention into making our relationship work
A few months in, we created a shared Google Calendar to keep track of everything from work meetings to nights out with friends. We can see when the other person is busy, and it’s been a helpful tool for planning, especially when figuring out future trips and making the most of our time off. We also make sure to have a shared activity while we are apart, like watching the same TV show on weekends when we have more time to be on the phone.
We aim to see each other every two to three months — sometimes just for a weekend, and other times, for a week or two. Since we both travel often for work and leisure, we’ve been able to use our miles to help cover flights.
Although we are 4,911 miles apart, the distance comforts me. It reminds me that we’re both making an effort, and my individuality has always been important to me. Long-distance relationships work best when both people feel grounded in their own lives. Maintaining careers, friendships, and hobbies outside the relationship isn’t just healthy; it’s necessary.
While we do plan to close the gap one day, for now, the distance is part of our story. And to think, it all started because I downloaded an app.
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