- When my first grader wakes up and says she doesn’t feel like going to school, I let her stay home.
- Though it’s only happened twice, I don’t mind letting her have a mental health day.
- I want her to know her feelings are valid and she doesn’t have to push through feeling ‘off.’
The other day, I started waking my 6-year-old daughter up for school. She opened her sleepy little eyes and immediately said, “I don’t want to go to school today.”
I asked her why and if she was feeling sick. She said she didn’t — she just didn’t feel up to going. I didn’t push her much and told her she could stay home.
It might seem strange to keep my first grader home from school when she wasn’t sick, but I had my reasons.
I want my daughter to know she doesn’t always have to push through
I know my daughter very well. She loves going to school, so much so that on days when she has been noticeably sick, I have had to force her to stay home because she wants to go. She’s actually disappointed on the weekends when there’s no school.
But there’s more to it than that.
She was clearly having an off day. Though my daughter didn’t tell me that anything specific was bothering her, it seemed that she was just feeling off and didn’t feel up to being in a school environment.
And I want my daughter to know now, at an early age, that it’s OK to have off days and just not feel like doing anything, including going to school. So, I made the decision to allow my daughter to skip school for a mental health day.
As an adult, I’ve often been made to feel that I always have to be “on” and ready for anything. Especially now that I’m older, there are plenty of times when I just have to suck it up and do what I’m supposed to do. But I’m also human, and it’s important to acknowledge what I’m feeling.
I want my daughter to trust me enough to know that she can talk to me about anything, including whatever she may be feeling. I don’t want to teach her that she always has to push through everything and set aside what she’s feeling to do things she doesn’t want to. Yes, there may be times that she’ll have to do that, but I want her to know that’s not always the case and that she’s allowed to make that judgment call.
I’m going to keep trusting my gut and letting her take mental health days
I’ve only allowed her to stay home when she’s not sick on two occasions, and both of these times, it’s been clear she hasn’t been feeling up to going to school. When I give her these
mental health days, I ask her if there is something specific bothering her. However, if she is especially moody, I try not to push her to talk too much. I will usually wait and let her come to me when she is ready to talk about what she’s feeling.
I also make it clear that she can stay home for the day, but she’s expected to go to school the next day. And you know what? My method pays off.
My daughter gets to have a day at home, resting, enjoying being a child, and doing nothing. She is a firecracker, the kind of kid who doesn’t stop talking, so if she feels she needs a day to just chill, I don’t mind giving her that. Plus, after a few hours, she usually seems more energized and is back to her usual self, and whatever was bothering her has passed.
The next day, when I wake her up, she practically jumps out of bed to get ready because she’s so excited to head back to school. So, while it might seem somewhat unorthodox, I am going to continue sticking with my instincts and following my gut. When my daughter needs a mental health day from school, she can take it — no questions asked.
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