- After much planning, I followed my boyfriend to Tucson and enrolled at the University of Arizona.
- He left shortly after, which meant I was alone and brokenhearted in a new, unfamiliar city.
- I stayed for years, got my degree, and learned to love the Southwest.
When I was 26, I moved to Arizona with the boyfriend I’d had since high school.
We spent a year planning the move since we’d be going 900 miles away from where we grew up in the San Francisco Bay Area.
I wasn’t so worried, though. We’d supported each other through major life events and made decisions together for the better part of a decade.
Together, we’d backpacked throughout the Pacific Northwest, driven from California to Maine and back in a Volkswagen bus, and camped under the stars in 35 national parks.
Although I had no connection to Arizona, my boyfriend’s family wanted him to move there to care for his ailing grandmother in Tucson — and I would’ve followed him anywhere.
Plus, after attending community college in California, the University of Arizona seemed as good a place as any to finish my final two years of school.
So, off we went to live on his grandmother’s sprawling desert homestead.
My boyfriend left Arizona before my classes even began
When we arrived, I got my Arizona driver’s license and established myself as a resident to access a sizable in-state tuition discount.
However, just days before my classes began, my boyfriend told me he was moving back to the Bay.
I wanted to punch him, but really, I was mad at myself. I’d ignored a carnival’s worth of red flags over the years — lying, cheating, stealing.
Now, here I was, alone for the first time in a decade, stuck in a new city with no friends, a truckload of self-pity, and a broken heart.
After he left, I spent those first few weeks of school miserable and lonely, with my eyes perpetually red and swollen from crying. I felt like I was being tested. How much did I really want to stay in school? Enough to navigate this parched, alien wasteland alone?
Still, I stayed. I was determined to be the first person in my family to graduate from college, and I’d do it before I turned 30, with or without a boyfriend.
Although I struggled at first, I fell in love with my new city and state
Having been raised in a bay-side town, I felt like a fish out of water in the Arizona desert. Everywhere I looked were signs I was far from home — stabby cacti, piggish javelinas, and pack rats that would build a nest in your engine block if your car sat too long.
Eventually, though, it got harder and harder to stay sad in one of America’s sunniest cities.
I dived into my studies, joined the university writing center, and began tutoring kids in reading at a local elementary school.
I moved into a studio apartment two blocks from campus and had a fling with the political-science major who lived next door. Within a few weeks, I was riding my bike everywhere and spending hours swimming and studying at the massive campus pool.
My appreciation and fondness for the state grew as I learned about the Southwest’s rich Indigenous history and culture and took road trips to nearby historic towns like Bisbee and Tombstone.
I started making friends, venturing out, and exploring the natural beauty of the Sonoran Desert. I camped on Mount Lemmon, hiked the Santa Catalina Mountains, and drove deep into the desert at night to see the stars.
Two and a half years later, I’d graduated with a bachelor’s degree and fostered a genuine love for the Southwest. Although I later left Tucson to take my dream job in Seattle, I’m grateful for my experience.
I never imagined I’d grow so fond of Arizona, but it’s where I found myself, accomplished my goal, and made lifelong friends.
This move taught me I can turn any challenging situation into something wonderful — and that even a Bay Area Aquarius like me can fall in love with a desert.
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