I got engaged at 33, and I definitely felt like a late bloomer. Since I already had a child from a previous relationship, I had established my independence as a single parent well before I found a partner.
When I met my husband, I had owned my own home for about five years, and I was in my third year of teaching. I worked hard to provide for my son and me, but I was basically in survival mode.
I was tired of handling everything on my own
I began to believe that things would be easier if I had someone to share everything with. I fantasized about finding someone who would split the finances with me, help with chores, and provide emotional support.
Once my husband and I started dating, it felt serious almost immediately. We had met through work and had already known each other for a couple of years. I had the feeling early on that he was the one.
My husband and I were both older when we finally found each other, so when we did, we were ready to start our lives together. Suddenly, all of my previous plans as a single parent felt flexible.
After my husband proposed, I sold my house and we moved into his
While I had been anxious to be done with the responsibilities of homeownership, I didn’t think carefully enough about what I was giving up. It wasn’t just a physical space. It was a time when my son and I were a family of just the two of us. When we moved in with my husband, we became a family of three, forever changed.
I’ve come to regret not holding onto that time a little longer, when it was just the two of us, and my son was so young. He is getting older now, and I sometimes feel like I missed out on having more of that valuable one-on-one time with him before I remarried.
I miss the feeling of not always having a family relying on me
I often had the house to myself when my son was with his father. I remember feeling lonely at the time, but when I look back on it now, I miss it. I was free to make my own choices without having to consider my husband’s or son’s preferences.
There were many evenings I would go for a long run and come home to prepare a big bowl of sautéed zucchini or an oversize salad for myself. Not only would I never be able to serve that to my family as a complete dinner, but I’d also feel guilty taking such a leisurely run if they were home.
I wish we had dated longer
I was so focused on finding a partner that I didn’t realize my life wasn’t lacking in anything. My son and I always had more than we needed, and best of all, we had each other. I feel lucky to have found love, but I wish I had appreciated what I already had beforehand.
When I was dating my husband, I really had the best of both worlds. We were together at times, but could also be apart and maintain our independent lives. I certainly don’t regret marrying him, but I wish I had prolonged our dating period and relished being the head of my own household for a little while longer.
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