This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Jasmine Lee, a 29-year-old digital marketing AI teaching assistant based in Lincolnshire, England. It’s been edited for length and clarity.
My foundation was shaken after two layoffs in two years.
In early 2023, I was laid off from my editorial role at a startup. Later that year, I landed a new job in digital marketing, only to be laid off again after six months. It sent me into what felt like a quarter-life crisis, and I lost my sense of purpose and direction.
Despite being in a privileged position in which my partner, with whom I live, was able to handle living costs like rent and groceries, I experienced immense self-doubt and anxiety about if I was doing enough.
The sense of depression I felt about losing my job made it difficult to get out of bed and find the motivation to work, but I eventually landed a role after one year.
Leaning on the people close to me was helpful
My partner and my close friends are some of the biggest emotional support systems in my life.
Since my partner and I live together, we talk every day about what’s going on in our lives. I opened up to him on multiple occasions about how I felt like I had hit a dead end and there was no future for my career. He encouraged me to go to the gym with him. I told him “fine” and that I’d try it out, but I ended up sticking with it.
We live in a rural area, and most of my friends live far away, so keeping up with them on the phone was also helpful and encouraging.
Therapy helped me to reframe my negative thoughts
There are some emotional problems that loved ones just aren’t equipped to help with, so I sought out therapy. I was able to access text-only therapy through my partner’s employment benefits, but I would recommend in-person therapy if it’s accessible.
One of the biggest things my therapist helped me with was reframing my negative thoughts, namely my recurring feeling that I’m tired of feeling like the “broke friend.”
I hated feeling like the friend who squandered her career potential. At nearly 30 years of age, this is not at all the financial situation I imagined myself in when I was burning myself out throughout high school and university, trying to build myself a career I could be proud of.
My therapist helped me see that I’ve just encountered some obstacles. I’m doing my best to grow in my career and overcome my challenges.
I joined a women’s organization for peer support
While my loved ones and therapist were helpful, I was looking for a space to feel less alone in my struggles.
I attended an event, called Power Hours, put on by a women’s organization, to meet with other women in the UK who were looking for jobs or career pivots. After that, I started attending some of their free workshops with services such as CV feedback, career coaching, and Acas, which is the UK’s public body that provides advice on employment rights.
I even took part in some of their guided journaling and mindfulness workshops. The recurring mantra that really stuck with me is “rejection is redirection.” It’s a more optimistic way of looking at obstacles in my life.
Staying busy and trying new things gave me confidence
During my second layoff, I started taking up hobbies I never thought I’d be capable of, like sewing and coding. I even took up a public speaking opportunity, which I never thought I’d do, but I would do it again.
Proving myself capable, time and time again, gave me the confidence I needed to keep chugging on with job applications. I eventually applied for a teaching assistant role for a digital marketing AI boot camp I had recently completed, and I got hired. I love my job, and I’m happy I pivoted to teaching digital marketing.
During mental dips, my support systems helped remind me that I am a person who is worthy of respect and love outside of my career. Without them, this experience would have been far more isolating and difficult to handle.
There are still moments when I look at a friend’s life, one who’s making double or triple my income, and I feel bad about myself, but after two layoffs in two years, I am immensely grateful to even have a stable paycheck and a warm home.
Do you have a story to share about navigating long-term unemployment? If so, please reach out to the reporter at [email protected].
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