- 4 married couples shared how they manage their finances.
- Some prefer combining everything into joint accounts, while others still prefer some separation.
- All couples emphasized the importance of communication to find what works best for you.
For married couples, there’s no set way to merge your finances.
Do you transfer everything into a joint bank account? Keep your money separate? Opt for a mix by pooling money for a big purchase, retirement fund, or emergency savings but keeping everything else in individual accounts?
We asked four married couples how they do it. While their methods varied — from having one big joint account to having separate “fun money” funds — every couple emphasized the importance of being transparent and communicative about money.
Durelle Bailey, 30, and Samantha Bailey, 30, combine finances but have separate “fun money” accounts.
Their professions: Durelle Bailey is a health services administrator in the Air Force and Samantha Bailey works as a recruitment marketing manager. They are also both social media influencers and run their own marketing agency.
Their incomes: They each make six figures.
Where they live: Stafford, Virginia.
Married for: Seven years.
How they split their finances: They share one main joint account for most of their central expenses. That includes a checking and savings account, as well as high-yield savings, investment, and credit card accounts.
They also have separate accounts for “fun money,” Durelle told BI. “We kind of divvy out our funds to go shopping and do what we want to do.” They budget about 20% of their income to fun money each month, to spend as they each decide.
Why it works for them: The Baileys opened joint checking and savings accounts early into marriage, adding all their earnings into one place. Samantha said that it taught them how to work as a team, since she is a spender while Durelle is a saver.
“Blending our finances has been really good for us because we’ve realized that balance is important,” she said.
For example, if she goes above her fun money budget and dips into the joint savings for Sephora purchases, the joint account helps her stay accountable to larger savings goals, like future vacations.
She said it also taught Durelle, who grew up with financial instability, to “be a little bit more willing to spend and enjoy the fruits of his labor too, instead of just saving everything.”
Biggest expenses: Travel and their two mortgages.
Tips they have for other couples: The Baileys hold check-ins throughout the year to discuss everything from career benchmarks to travel plans. About twice a month, they focus check-ins on money. “We review our checking accounts, our investment accounts, just to make sure that we’re reaching the goals,” Durelle said.
He said having structure, such as automating most of their payments, helps them stay on track with fixed costs and savings goals. “Pay yourself first, then you can have the money to do whatever you want with,” he said.
Alex Payetta, 35, and Jeff Payetta, 36, joined all their accounts, which Alex manages.
Their professions: Alex Payetta is a women’s life coach and Jeff Payetta owns a family cleaning chemicals and janitorial products business.
Their incomes: They each make six figures, but Alex generally makes twice as much as Jeff over the course of the year (though her income is more variable).
Where they live: Huntington Beach, California.
Married for: Five years.
How they split their finances: The Payettas fully merged all their accounts shortly after getting married. “It was a very intentional decision,” Alex said.
She also manages all their money. “Jeff’s in charge of cooking and I’m in charge of finances,” she said. She tracks their budget and makes all of the family’s financial decisions.
Why it works for them: Alex Payetta said that neither of them had any debt going into marriage and had very similar habits and goals, making it easy to combine everything.
They also find it tedious to pay each other back for their mortgage or utilities. “It seems like added work that isn’t necessary, given that we’re all striving toward one purpose,” Jeff said.
When they bought a house two years ago, having their money all in one place also made it easier to know their budget. “If we had had everything separate, it would’ve been a lot harder to make a decision about what we could afford,” Alex said.
Biggest expenses: The couple has two young children and are expecting a third. They said they spend about 10-12% of their income strictly on childcare expenses like a nanny. That doesn’t include extracurriculars like dance class.
They also spend a lot on home expenses, their mortgage, and property taxes.
Tips they have for other couples: “Just be really open and honest and have a plan,” Alex said. “I see a lot of people that don’t talk about money or it makes them uncomfortable, so then they just avoid the topic completely or just kind of do whatever their partner does.”
Their method works because they communicate a lot and make sure they’re on the same page, she said. If money is tight, they’ll make adjustments together like packing lunch instead of eating out.
Marceil Van Camp, 39, and Katy Knauff, 40, have fully separate accounts, except when it comes to their restaurant expenses.
Their professions: Katy Knauff is a chef and Marceil Van Camp is a realtor. They both own a full-service American restaurant in Seattle.
Where they live: Seattle, Washington.
Married for: Eight years.
How they split their finances: They have separate accounts for everything, including their savings accounts and retirement funds.
The only exceptions are any accounts tied to their joint restaurant business. They share a checking account, line of credit, and business credit cards. About once a week, they sit down to go over their finances. They usually spend the time reconciling their finances from the restaurant and Marceil’s real estate business.
Why it works for them: “It’s nice to be able to surprise one another every once in a while,” Marceil said.
Just that week, Katy bought her a belt she wanted for a long time. “Had I seen that expense on our joint checking, I might’ve been like, ‘That’s not necessary.'”
Biggest expenses: “Our very old dog, she’s been very expensive lately,” Marceil said.
They also spend the most money on HOA fees, eating out, and travel for Marceil’s real estate networking events.
Tips they have for other couples: Be consistent with how often you talk about money.
Weekly money check-ins make their money talks “easy and painless,” Marceil said. “It’s a constant topic, which makes it not super sensitive or concerning,” she said.
Sasha Dutta, 35, and Raj Dutta, 39, mix separate and combined accounts.
Their professions: Sasha is the VP of a PR agency and Raj is a startup cofounder.
Their incomes: Sasha makes “just over” six figures and Raj makes “just under” six.
Where they live: Gainesville, Florida
Married for: Five and a half years.
How they split their finances: They have separate accounts as well as a combined checking and savings account. “Every month, we’ll put a set amount into the checking account and that will pay our bills and our mortgage and all of our expenses,” Sasha told BI.
Why it works for them: When they first started dating, the couple had fully independent accounts and just paid each other back for expenses like rent. Once they got married and bought a home four years ago, they found it easier to keep track of big expenses through a joint account. They use the account for their main joint purchases, like groceries and travel.
Having some separation is nice, too. “We have different spending needs, how much you want to spend on certain items compared to the other person,” Raj Dutta said. They use their own accounts to buy things for themselves.
Biggest expenses: Their mortgage and weekly groceries.
Tips they have for other couples: Talk through what works for you, not other couples. “We know of our friends who have joined accounts and pulled everything together in their checkings and savings,” Raj said. “That works for them perfectly. But for us, it works for us in a different way.”
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