Kiya Tomlin built her career around her husband's NFL schedule. Courtesy of the Tomlin family

Kiya Tomlin is married to Mike Tomlin, who coached the Pittsburgh Steelers for 19 seasons.

It was important to her that she maintain some independence, including financially.

Too many middle-aged women feel invisible until they embrace their strength and experience, she says.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Kiya Tomlin , founder and designer of Kiya Tomlin apparel . It has been edited for length and clarity.

As the wife of an NFL coach , I was highly visible, but didn't feel seen. I was always acknowledged as someone's wife, and…

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