When I was growing up, I was taught that the world was mine for the taking. I thought I could be and do whatever I wanted.
Although my answer to “What do you want to be when you grow up?” changed frequently, I knew that I wanted a job that brought me joy. I wanted to be an artist, astronomer, baseball player, or historian. Eventually, I settled on becoming a writer or photographer.
However, as I grew older and college drew near, pressure from the adults in my life to pursue a stable profession began to mount. My future narrowed, and I began considering only two futures for myself: doctor or lawyer.
Ultimately, I followed the path laid out for me by others. Now that my teenagers have to make similar decisions about their futures, I want them to have a broader view of what it means to be successful.
I became an attorney
I took classes in writing and photography in college, but settled on law school after graduation. It was so intense that I had to shut out nearly everything else to focus on studying.
After law school. I landed a job that I was good at and that paid well. Eventually, I built a successful career and had a comfortable lifestyle.
However, I never developed a passion for practicing law. I often wondered what life would have been like if I had followed my interests rather than succumbing to the well-meaning adults who influenced my career choice.
Once I had children, I left my job as a lawyer
I got married and became pregnant. Although I had not planned on leaving my job, my priorities shifted.
My oldest was born with disabilities and is medically complex. I wasn’t sure if she would live or die, and she required an enormous amount of care and attention. The realization that life is short and I didn’t want to spend my days filing papers at a desk hit hard.
Moreover, even if I had loved my job, spending decades running from an office to childcare pick-up wasn’t the type of lifestyle I wanted either.
I wanted more freedom to attend school events, travel, and play games with my children after school instead of collapsing into bed at night, too exhausted to enjoy myself or my family. I didn’t want to live in a state of constant stress.
I was expecting again before my daughter was a year old. I left my job as an attorney for good and went on to have four children in total.
I found an alternative career path that provided a better lifestyle
Even though I left my job as a lawyer to spend more time with my children, I didn’t want to give up working entirely. I still wanted an identity outside motherhood, and I wanted to contribute financially to my family.
This pivotal time in my life, with more clarity about my priorities, allowed me to pursue what I had always wanted to do. Finally, I started writing and taking photographs as a freelancer.
I didn’t earn nearly as much as I did as an attorney, but I began to enjoy my life more. I didn’t dread work, and I loved the flexibility I had to work after the kids went to sleep. I could cut back on work obligations when my children were out of school, or life began to feel overwhelming.
Even better, I found ways to incorporate my children into my work by writing about parenting issues and photographing them at the endless family-friendly events we attended together. Although I realize this option isn’t open to everyone, it works well for my family.
I hope my teens follow their dreams
I have always been open with my children about my unorthodox career trajectory. They know that even though I earned a higher salary as an attorney, I am happier and more fulfilled doing something I love. I enjoy finally having the type of career I wanted, even as a child.
Now that my children are teenagers, they are thinking about college and the types of careers they want to pursue. Like most parents, I want my children to live comfortably and not have to worry about covering their living expenses. I want them to have enough left over after paying their bills for everything that makes life fun.
However, I want them to understand that money isn’t everything. Their happiness and the ability to achieve a true work-life balance are valuable, too. I don’t want them to give up on their dreams or toss their passions aside because they are too consumed with work to find joy.
I believe that they will live their best lives by considering more than just a paycheck.
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