When I was first employed as an accountant by my current law firm, it felt like I was living the dream. The thought of working on a hybrid schedule, three days in the office and two days at home, gave me a sense of freedom. At the time, I was a newly married career woman, and I was determined to thrive both at home and at work. It felt like I had won the employment championship game with a slam dunk.
Fast forward a couple of years, when I had my first child, which as you might imagine, changed things drastically. Now I had to be present as an employee, a wife, and a mom. Life got more demanding, but I found ways to make it work. Of course, I had to incorporate a reliable nanny into my schedule to ensure my daughter was well taken care of when I spent time at the office, as my husband also kept a 9 to 5.
Soon, baby number two arrived, and it felt like the 24 hours in a day weren’t nearly enough to get everything done. This was around the same time that the law firm presented work-from-home options for roles that aren’t physically demanding. My work involves balancing spreadsheets and making sure the firm’s finances are in order. As it was all virtual, I could realistically work from anywhere.
My husband and I thought it would be a great idea to go for a fully remote position. I assumed it would give me enough time to take care of the home, the kids, and be highly productive at work. I was confident in my ability to multitask as I’ve been doing it all my life. Little did I know what I was in for.
Working at home wasn’t what I expected
My first week working from home full time felt a little difficult. This was rather unexpected because I didn’t previously have any help on the days at home when I worked a hybrid schedule. I thought of myself as a supermom, getting it all done in record time. What I didn’t realize was that working in the office gave me a break and a chance to maintain my sanity between home days. Working from home full time was a rude awakening I wasn’t expecting.
The kids constantly needed my attention. The oldest was always hungry and wanted to watch cartoons together, while the youngest wanted to be held all day. On certain days, it was so bad, I would have to pull out the baby sling and carry my youngest around all day as I worked. I constantly told myself that it was week one, and I was still learning to navigate this new reality, and I had to remind myself to breathe.
As time passed, I realized the demand for time and attention from my kids kept increasing. I had to cater to them even during work hours. Of course, when my husband and I envisioned this arrangement, we thought mostly of the financial aspect and the convenience of working from home. We would only need a nanny on special occasions and my husband would take over in the evenings to give me a break.
We also no longer had to spend a ton commuting or on eating out during lunch hours. Because I had a bit of time to spare in the mornings, I would also fix my husband a packed lunch. These changes were meant to grow our savings. But we didn’t take into consideration the demand and burnout that it would have on me. “Hold on, sweetie, I’m almost done,” became a commonly used phrase in my household because everyone needed something from me.
It’s not getting any easier
Months down the line, things haven’t changed much. I still struggle to find the work-life balance that everyone talks about. While our savings are adding up nicely, I don’t get much done during the day. On many days I have to wait for the kids to fall asleep to be productive at work.
Things like doctors’ visits, long drives, getting the kids to the park, and any form of caregiving automatically falls on me because I’m the parent who is at home. While it comes with the territory, it gets overwhelming at times. Don’t get me wrong, being a mom is the highlight of my life, but I guess I have to find a better way to get it all done.
A changing perspective
It’s clear that my work-from-home arrangement is no longer serving me, and I’m now negotiating to go back to a hybrid work schedule in the coming months, as this will give me enough time to work out a daycare arrangement for the kids.
I’m lucky to have a supportive partner who goes through the ups and downs with me. I’m learning that we can’t do it all and that wearing more than one hat at a time may not be sustainable in the long run. Sometimes, we need help to get things done, and now I’m not ashamed to ask for it.
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