Before I graduated from college, I feared I’d have no breathing room and would have to jump right into the workforce. Instead, I had to face something even worse: the prospects of no entry-level jobs on the market.
After graduating in 2024 and having no set work prospects, I resorted to cold emailing and freelancing for multiple publications. I also worked in restaurants as my side gig until something more permanent came through. Though at times my part-time job in the food industry felt like my only job, and my desired career in journalism felt like a silly little hobby.
Two years later, after graduating from college, I’ve taken the first steps in my career and successfully landed a job. I’m finally receiving a livable salary in a healthy workplace.
The new job is bringing relief to my life, but it also brings a cloud of survivor’s guilt.
I don’t understand why I get this opportunity when my family still struggles
Though I’ve finally broken into my industry, shouldn’t I feel relief rather than unease?
My body isn’t a stranger to imposter syndrome or the feelings of survivor’s guilt. I experienced a smaller version of this once before at my first real internship. It was my first time in an office and a newsroom.
Things were fine until I saw a delivery driver drop off lunch to my boss.
The “why me?” of it all started to set in: “Why do I get to do this, and that delivery driver doesn’t?”
As a first-generation American, I was taught early on to hustle for the American dream. The majority of my family still belongs to a blue-collar life. At times, it feels as if I’m put on a pedestal meant to be the only one to make it out. And if I don’t, I would be a disappointment.
Now in my new role, my family and community are ecstatic, yet I wish I could take them along with me. I wish that they could’ve been awarded these opportunities as well, after years of them working hard and sacrificing for me and others.
I also feel guilty for landing a job when other Gen Zers are struggling
During a time of massive layoffs, I feel beyond grateful, though confused at the ongoing hardship my generation is up against.
Though my fellow Gen Zers and I are being invited to join the workforce like any other generation, due to economic instability, there are few entry-level jobs. Some of us are forced into internships.
I know many people I graduated with who are still chasing invoice after invoice, waiting to see if their internship or freelance gig will turn into a full-time job with benefits — before the looming AI bubble attacks jobs.
Though my friends and I celebrated my debut into the workforce, most of my cohort is still without jobs. If not, like me, they are just starting to get their foot in the door as well.
I attribute my success to the values that were instilled in my family and the motivation I continue to get from my peers. I help where I can by lifting others up and helping them find job opportunities.
But a real main source of my stuck survivor’s guilt comes in the fact that the current job landscape is in desperate need of repair, and there’s nothing a beginner like me can do to fix it.
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