Barbara Corcoran, 77, says she overcame years of self-doubt by changing one bad habit.
On Thursday’s episode of “The Burnouts” podcast, Corcoran told hosts Phoebe Gates and Sophia Kianni that it took her a long time to learn to believe in herself.
“It’s just funny what your head can do for you. Most of everything, I think, plays out in your head,” Corcoran said. “You know, I wish I told myself as a younger woman, you’re a lot more capable than you think you are. But it took years to really learn that.”
She founded the Corcoran Group, a real estate brokerage in New York City, in 1973, before selling the company for $66 million in 2001. She has also been an investor on “Shark Tank” since the show’s debut in 2009.
Corcoran said she prepares extensively before business meetings, making sure she knows everything inside and out so she can stay in “total control.”
“And yet when I walk in, I think that everybody’s smarter than me,” she said, adding that the feeling stems from her experience as a student who struggled in school.
However, she was determined to push back against those memories, she said.
“In fact, probably till I was, I think, 35, I would have a self-tape that I had to consciously really change. My tape would say, ‘Hey, Barb, you should have never been here. You didn’t need to come to this meeting. You’re better off with your salespeople at home. You’d get more done. You motivate them,'” Corcoran said, recalling her negative self-talk.
Corcoran said she would often tell herself that being in those group settings was a mistake and that she shouldn’t have gone.
“And then when I was about 35, I realized that tape was pulling me back. It was old tape, so then I replaced it. I said, ‘Barbara, you’re a genius. Fuck them all. You’re great,” she said.
Even though she didn’t believe it at first, repeating it eventually helped her internalize it.
“By running it all the time, 35 to 40 to 45. By the time I got to be 50, I pretty much believed it, maybe, you know, but it’s hard to shake it,” Corcoran said.
Corcoran isn’t alone. Other celebrities have also spoken about the role self-talk plays in shaping confidence.
Elizabeth Banks has said that treating herself kindly is key to aging well.
“It’s your attitude. Getting rid of negative self-talk and just being positive about how you feel about yourself,” Banks said.
Some have also pointed out that those habits can extend beyond themselves.
Zooey Deschanel has said she doesn’t let her two kids see her insecure.
“I always want them to think I’m happy with myself and, like, because they get their self-esteem from their parents, you know. So yeah, it’s important to me to, like, show up with confidence,” she said.
Similarly, Kylie Kelce has said she tries to model self-love in front of her kids.
“I really try my best to make sure that I speak positively about myself, even on the days that I don’t necessarily feel it,” Kelce said.
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