This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Rasheda Williams, founder of Empowered Flower Girl. It has been edited for length and clarity.
It’s hard to describe my relationship with my grandmother, Marguerite. You might say it was interesting. Marguerite was my dad’s mother. After my parents divorced, my dad moved to another state, but Marguerite always came to events like graduation and birthdays. In that way, we were close.
But our relationship felt very surface-level. She showed up for my milestones, but I never really knew her. She was very private and kept me at a distance. I took her to a doctor’s appointment once and asked a few questions. She shot me a look that said, “Mind your own business.” That was how she was — always keeping people at arm’s length.
My dad died before his mother, so as Marguerite got older, I was her only living relative — or so I thought. When she was in her late 70s, I began to notice her house was in disarray, and she was struggling with hoarding. I encouraged her to move, but she refused. She was very stubborn.
My grandma left me a note and all her important documents
In 2015, when I was 34, I wasn’t able to get a hold of Marguerite. I called the police to do a wellness check, and they found that she had died at home. The situation was a bit mysterious: She had written me a note referring to “the key to everything.” A folder with her bank and insurance information was nearby. I assumed that was the key she was referring to.
When I opened that folder, I saw Marguerite had about $55,000 in the bank. I was stunned. I couldn’t believe my grandma had that much money while living the way she was.
Marguerite’s official cause of death was a heart attack. I’ll never know if the note was there because she had a premonition that she was going to die. No matter what, I believe it was divine timing for both of us.
I quit my job and lived off my inheritance for two years
Between the money in Marguerite’s accounts and life insurance policies, I received an inheritance of about $85,000. At the time, I was making about $53,000 a year working in communications for a university, so this was a lot of money for me.
I knew immediately I wanted to leave my job. I wasn’t fulfilled at work. I had a side project, Empowered Flower Girl, that addresses bullying in young people. That was my life’s work, but it was always on the back burner because of my job.
It took a year for Marguerite’s estate to move through probate court. During that year, I made a strategic plan for my life. It wasn’t too different from the marketing plans I was used to making at work. I would quit my day job and write a book for Empowered Flower Girl—something I’d been putting off for years.
Once I received the money, I put about $15,000 into emergency savings. I used the remaining $70,000 to live off of for the next two years. Although that wasn’t a ton of money, I was still able to treat myself to some things, including a trip to the Caribbean.
I wrote my book, began speaking professionally, and advanced Empowered Flower Girl. After two years, I started picking up freelance work. I felt my career was much more aligned with my purpose. I was living for a living, and no longer dreading going to work.
I later learned about a family I didn’t know existed
It turns out, however, that the biggest catalyst for change after Marguerite’s death wasn’t the money she left me: It was the realization of a family secret.
When I went through her papers, I learned about my grandmother’s stepdaughter, whom I never knew existed. I also learned that Marguerite had cousins and extended family I had never known.
Finding that family helped me feel whole. I fostered relationships with them and deepened relationships with my friends. Marguerite’s death was a wake-up call for me.
Although she was in her 80s when she died, her death reinforced to me that life is short. I want to spend my time with the people and projects that are most important to me. Thanks to my grandmother, I am able to do that.
Read the full article here
