In 2013, after three years of living abroad and backpacking around the world, my partner, Sam, and I returned home to Australia without a cent to our names. We’d literally spent everything we had on our adventures and owned nothing but the clothes in our suitcase when we stepped off the plane.
I didn’t want to move back to the city we were living in before our travels, as I grew up there, and I was worried it would feel like a step backward. So, we decided to ask my partner’s parents (who would later become my in-laws) if we could stay with them while we got on our feet financially.
His folks graciously offered us their back room and told us not to worry about rent until we could afford it.
But they were 68 and 74 years old at the time, and I was secretly worried about what living with them would be like. With such a significant age gap between us, our lifestyles and interests were completely different.
However, it proved to be one of the best decisions we ever made.
We learned a lot about each other and were able to save up for our future
A few weeks after we moved in with his folks, Sam found work nearby as a remedial massage therapist, and I started waitressing.
We worked long hours and saved up as much as we could, and after a few months, we bought a car — a hideous maroon-colored Ford Courier. It was old and tatty, but we felt rich because we finally had a reliable way to get around.
After a long day of work, we’d come home to slow-cooked lamb shanks or salmon with steamed homegrown vegetables, followed by pavlova or some other delicious dessert. I hadn’t lived at home with my parents since I was 21, so having someone cook for me felt like a real luxury.
In addition to the delicious home-cooked meals, I loved gathering around the table to have interesting conversations with Sam’s family. I learned a lot about what he was like as a teenager and gained a little more insight into the person I’d fallen in love with.
I also learned more about my in-laws’ upbringings and life stories, and got to know them as more than just my partner’s parents.
At the same time, though, I think the living arrangement worked so well because we all gave each other space.
On my days off, I’d go for long walks, read by the river, or play cards with the neighbor so that I wasn’t on top of my in-laws. I value my alone time, so I figured they probably needed theirs, too.
After years of traveling and moving around constantly, it was nice to enjoy the slower pace of country life for a while.
Eventually, though, I knew it was time to move on
Before leaving Australia to travel, I had a job I loved as a print journalist at a daily newspaper. Although waitressing was great, I couldn’t help but feel like I wasn’t reaching my full potential. After a few months, I started to feel stuck and decided it was once again time to focus on my career.
I eventually landed a position at a community newspaper in Melbourne, 3.5 hours from where we were staying.
I was so excited to have the opportunity to get back into the profession I loved, but I was also nervous about telling my partner and his family. I knew it would be hard to leave the country life behind and say goodbye to his folks.
While we were sitting at dinner one night, I decided to share my big news. I told them I was offered the job and would start in a month. The moment was bittersweet, but they were excited for me and knew what this next step meant for my career.
Looking back, moving in with my partner’s parents for five months was the best decision we could’ve made. It helped us get back on our feet, brought us closer together, and made coming home to Australia much easier.
Nowadays, we live just 10 minutes from my in-laws and see them multiple times a week. Their generosity in having us live with them all those years ago helped set us up financially, and I will always be grateful to them for that.
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