This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with 37-year-old Wilma Ramony de Souza. Business Insider has confirmed her employment and roles at JPMorgan. The following has been edited for length and clarity. JPMorgan declined to comment.
Growing up in Maceió, a beach town in Brazil, I never imagined I would work at one of the world’s most powerful banks. Yet, after four years at the Brazilian Financial and Capital Markets Association, a colleague invited me to join him at JPMorgan, and I became an analyst at the São Paulo branch at the age of 24.
It felt like a dream, and part of me wondered how I got there, especially because I had failed to get an internship at the company years ago. About a year after I joined the bank, a woman with a strong presence, colorful style, and Spanish accent caught my attention. I felt this amazing energy with her, and she eventually brought me onto her team in a front-office role as her first hire. She became my mentor and direct manager over the next 12 years, and uniting forces was one of the most important parts of my career.
People called us the cowgirls — two foreigners in an American bank, trying to build a business in the male-dominated Latin American market.
I worked in a male-dominated culture
JPMorgan helped me build my corporate persona, with trainings on everything from American business culture, to executive presence, to language support, to technical skills. The learning was overwhelming at times, but I figured out how to adapt American techniques to the Brazilian culture.
My boss and I were outliers, bringing a different flavor and type of client relationships to the business. We got a lot of support, but also a lot of resistance. The first 15 minutes of every conversation were crucial, because I had to really prove myself.
I was in my mid-twenties, blonde, and not even 5’2, so some of the guys on the trading desk questioned why I was excelling. At one point, I got laser eye surgery, but I kept wearing glasses for a while to look a bit older.
Travel was exciting, but it took a toll
In Brazil, our team worked on investor services, so I interacted with many companies and funds — the guys would usually choose to go to barbecue dinners, the club, and golf games with clients, and I learned how to relate to these topics to remain included. In the early years, travel was thrilling, as I went from trips within Brazil to global journeys.
At that time, I generally had a nine-to-seven schedule (except for the nights when I worked until 1 am), but the travel started to take a toll. My six-year relationship ended because I rarely saw my boyfriend; I missed birthdays and Mother’s Day; I never wanted to take trips during my time off.
The pay was great, but I didn’t have time for hobbies or the gym, so I’d overdo it with sports on the weekends. Then I’d spend money at the spa trying to relax, or on acupuncture to compensate.
Success in New York was addictive
The accomplishments were like a drug: the more I conquered, the more I wanted.
My boss and I were securing big clients, and I didn’t mind approving things at 1 am as long as we got the accounts open. All I saw was more opportunity.
On the other hand, the more successful we became, the more attention we received, and some questioned whether we were asking for or doing too much. The recognition was amazing, but it also left no room for mistakes.
When I moved to New York City in 2019 as a Vice President, I went from my comfort zone to the eye of the storm, and had to prove myself even more as a foreigner. Soon, the pandemic hit, and I moved to Miami. By the time we returned to the office, I was flying from Florida to New York, until eventually the company said I had to come back to New York full-time or look for something else.
At that point, I began searching for jobs on the private banking side of the business and decided to move to London with my significant other. I felt like I was betraying my boss when I told her I was leaving the team, but I didn’t want her job one day or the life of a Managing Director.
Burnout caught up to me in London
I felt signs of burnout before even arriving in London: I had a mild panic attack in the office in December 2022 while managing a major deal. On top of that, my relationship was struggling, and my mom thought I’d never be back for another Christmas.
After that panic attack, I realized I was starting to lose both my health and myself. The bank would always give me more, but it was my job to know how much was enough. It was hard, though, being in a place where asking for help could be seen as a sign of failure.
So I moved to London in 2023, and it was a huge culture shock. People and the weather were colder, and the society was more closed off. I found it harder to make friends, and work started to feel meaningless. My spark diminished, I’d feel nauseous at my desk, and depression crept up.
I spent a year in therapy realizing I was no longer happy in banking, and another two months gathering the courage to resign. There wasn’t a planned date, but I just walked in one day and told my boss that I needed to leave. I don’t just blame the management or the structure in London. I take full responsibility for my part, having accumulated so much baggage.
Rediscovering myself
After leaving for good in November 2024, I didn’t know what to do with myself. There was no other job, no alternate dream. I spent six months traveling, figuring out who I was and what I loved. I was so used to introducing myself as, ‘Wilma, who works at JPMorgan.’ I didn’t know who Wilma was otherwise.
I wouldn’t change a single thing about my 14 years at the bank, though. Obviously, I had my struggles, my stress, my lost relationships, but the company taught me what it means to challenge myself every day and, in the end, be excellent. Now, I’m living mainly in Miami, serving as a CEO and starting a consulting company for founders and small businesses — I even gladly refer some of them to JPMorgan.
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