One of my fondest memories of my daughter is going home after a long day of work at my old law firm and seeing her sitting on the steps, anxiously waiting to ask me about my day. She would run toward me, grab my briefcase, and help me into the house.
She would then call me Superman and ask if I had settled any big cases or saved the world that day. I was a paralegal at the time, working my way up the totem pole, but the idea of helping others through legal processes excited her. That’s when I knew that she would make a great lawyer.
True to that, her passion for law never wavered. While many kids are fickle and change their minds about careers as they go through life, my daughter was consistent in what she wanted.
Eventually, I earned my law degree and became a practicing lawyer. She enjoyed helping in my office during spring and summer break. As a parent, watching her in action inspired my desire to set her up for success.
I helped my daughter out early in her career
Having attended law school, I knew a couple of school administrators and professors who equally encouraged my daughter to enroll in a legal course since she wanted to practice law.
My relationship with them played a great role in helping her secure a spot in a good school, but she still had to do the work and keep her grades up to graduate.
After graduation, I vouched for her skills and expertise among the other lawyers in my firm. Most people saw it as a father speaking highly of her daughter. Because of the great history we had and the standard employment protocol, the legal experts put her through a round of interviews, which she aced.
I saw nothing wrong with using my connections to help my daughter land a job. She is smart, graduated with honors, and passed the bar exam. Some people believe that we should all start from the bottom up, but I’ve always been the kind of person who would never turn down an added advantage.
My daughter isn’t well-respected at work by some
I’ve worked for over 30 years in my law firm. It’s no secret that I used my influence and the relationships I have formed to help my daughter acquire a job. I don’t shy away from pointing this out to colleagues. I even discussed my desires and intentions with them while my daughter was still in school.
However, the downside is that some colleagues think my daughter didn’t earn her keep. It feels like she is not well-respected for her brilliant mind and always gets the shorter end of the stick when it comes to work projects.
This has played out in numerous instances, and she even feels like she has to downplay her ideas so the limelight is not constantly on her. Granted, she could find a job solely based on her accomplishments, but as a parent, I don’t see the purpose of going the long way when I can help.
I’ve had moments where I wonder if I did the right thing, but watching her come to work every day with a smile on her face despite the odds makes me feel like we are on the right path.
I’ve had numerous conversations with her about some of her colleagues feeling like she got the easy way out. This would be disheartening for anyone, but it only fuels her fire to do better and chart her own career path.
She knows she can leave and find a job in any other law firm of her choosing, but working together offers us both a sense of comfort that we are holding on to.
I don’t regret helping my daughter
I’m slowly realizing that a job connection for any of my children could leave them feeling like they constantly need to prove themselves among their colleagues.
I encourage all of them to be their best. I’ve imparted life lessons and resources to see them through any situation. But if my daughter ever feels like my influence is standing in her way, I would gladly step back and let her find her own path.
As we’ve heard, there’s no manual to parenting. Sometimes, we make decisions we think are in the best interest of our children’s happiness, only to deal with unexpected challenges down the line.
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