- I felt anxious about my social life, and some of my friendships were toxic.
- I decided to end those toxic friendships by cutting out people I couldn’t trust.
- Some of them I ghosted, and others I had a talk with, but I’m much happier now.
When I decided to improve my life and eliminate all the toxic relationships around me, I started with the usual suspects: lovers, food, work, and alcohol. It wasn’t easy, but life became much simpler. Yet, something still felt off when it came to my social life — a lingering feeling of anxiety.
With the help of my therapist, I discovered there were still some toxic friendships in my life that I hadn’t been aware of until I gained clarity.
I was shocked to realize that some people who had been in my life for years or had shown me genuine love were, in some way, now causing harm — even if unintentionally. The reasons varied: carrying unresolved emotional baggage, offering one-sided support, or radiating negativity.
The weight of it all was overwhelming, and I had to make the difficult decision to end some of these friendships. It’s one of the smartest choices I’ve ever made.
I had to separate my friends from my acquaintances
My first step was to categorize the people in my life to truly understand who deserved the title of “friend” and what that word actually meant to me.
As someone who has moved around the world and lived in bustling cities, I’ve naturally made a ton of connections. But the lines between acquaintances and friendships blurred over the years.
I had to first understand what made a friend a friend and an acquaintance and an acquaintance. For me, a friendship requires both trust and emotional support.
Those became my parameters for evaluating my friendships.
I then tested my friendships
The next step was figuring out which friendships were worth keeping in my life. After some difficult weeks, I realized it wasn’t about the drama I was willing to tolerate, the amount of time we spent together, or how often we saw each other.
It was about what they genuinely added to my life. It was about who I could trust and who offered emotional support.
So, I evaluated every aspect of each friendship. If the overall result was positive and they brought something meaningful to my life, they were keepers. If the result was negative and they consistently took something away, it was clear they needed to be let go.
With that in mind, it was just a matter of deciding how to break up each friendship.
There were a few approaches I took to ending friendships
I had no experience whatsoever with breaking up with friends. The idea itself felt strange — even in my head. No one ever talks about it, but I was ready to move forward.
While these relationships were ultimately toxic for me, I approached them with empathy and kindness as a starting point. In the end, though, it was about prioritizing what I needed and how I felt.
Some breakups were passive, involving a gradual reduction in interactions or “quiet ghosting.” Others required explanations — a thoughtful message, a phone call, or even an in-person conversation. In the most extreme cases, I had to abruptly cut ties, blocking them on social media and offering no explanations.
Navigating these situations was challenging, especially within groups where mutual friends started asking questions.
But after a few breakups, I began to feel something I hadn’t in a long time: happiness and freedom.
I now have a new approach to friendships
I have normalized this process in my life and now apply it to all my relationships, including those with family. Life is too short and precious to spend it with the wrong people.
Today, I enjoy a simpler social life that allows me to focus my love and energy on those who truly and deeply care about me. The anxiety and unnecessary people are gone, but the good memories will always remain.
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