I Believe I’m Owed the Right to Work From Home As a Mother

When my newly wedded husband and I moved into our New York City apartment in January 2019, I ran to the Duane Reade across the street to buy a pregnancy test.

Alone in our new home while my husband was at work, I learned I was expecting our first child. A mix of terror and excitement quickly took over. I wondered how we would fit into this one-bedroom apartment as a small family.

One question nagged me the most: How would I juggle being a parent with my career in the media industry?

In the years that followed, I managed to maintain my career while parenting three children, and now I have another on the way. The ability to work remotely made it possible.

Right now, I go into the office two days a week, and though we make it work with the help of a nanny and day care, it isn’t easy. I’m worried I’ll eventually be forced to go in every day.

For many working mothers, remote work has been the missing key. We were given the opportunity to work remotely for years during the pandemic and got to see how helpful it was for keeping us in the workforce.

In a country with limited maternity leave, unaffordable childcare, and pay inequality, remote work is a necessary safeguard that helps mothers, with kids of any age, stay employed without compromising their role as caregivers. It’s not about asking for special treatment; it’s about ensuring equal access to opportunity.

Now, as return-to-office mandates are on the rise, I worry this vital workplace right for mothers is being ripped away.

It was difficult for me to juggle my career and new parenthood

When my maternity leave ended in February 2020, I left my 4-month-old daughter, Giordana, at home with a nanny for the first time. I had to commute over an hour from our new Long Island apartment to work in Midtown Manhattan.

Though I was excited to feel like my old self again, with cares and responsibilities beyond breastfeeding and changing diapers, my thoughts centered on my daughter all day.

The emotional toll involved in leaving my first and only child at home affected my mental well-being and my ability to be a good mother. I quickly became drained from the commute and sitting at a desk for hours a day. I would come home mentally and physically exhausted, with very little energy to engage with my child.

Childcare instantly became a problem, too. Not only was it expensive, but my part-time nanny couldn’t be there every day — and sometimes, not even for the full day. Within weeks of returning to work, I found myself asking my mom, who luckily had a flexible schedule at her own full-time job, to fill in. The stress rippled across multiple generations.

Around that time, I had a heart-to-heart with my husband — an architect who owns a firm, earns more than I do, and goes to the office in Manhattan five days a week. I asked him how he would feel if I quit my job and started freelancing so I could care for our daughter full time at home.

My husband understood where I was coming from, though he seemed anxious at the prospect of taking on the entire financial burden of our family.

A few days later, my human resources department sent a note requesting everyone start working from home because of the pandemic, effective immediately. The move saved my sanity and my career.

Working from home made it easier to juggle my responsibilities

Suddenly, I could be home with my daughter when she was only a few months old. I was busier than ever at work, but at least I could feed Giordana, change her diaper, take her on a walk during my lunch break, and, most importantly, go through her bedtime routine.

Five years later, I’m now a mother of three and pregnant with our fourth. In August 2022, my company implemented a two-day-a-week in-office mandate.

I’m grateful to work for a company that understands the benefits of a hybrid schedule. Allowing me to work from home three days a week gives me the flexibility to pick up my kids from school if needed, take them to the doctor when they’re sick, attend school events on the days I’m not in the office, and be home when they return from school.

It’s about being physically present and being able to kiss them hello and ask how their day was before the chaos of bedtime, which is always tougher after a long day at the office.

Still, every HR email that pops into my inbox makes my stomach drop. I worry it will be a message about a full-time return-to-office mandate that would force me to choose between my career and my family responsibilities.

I understand there are some women who work in industries where remote work is impossible, but I wish some companies understood that forcing working mothers back into the office full-time is a mistake, especially when the job can be done at home.

Mothers in the US are facing a brutal decision

Mothers dealing with full-time RTO mandates often face one of two paths: continue working full time and pay for childcare or quit the workforce to raise their children.

These choices will be familiar to many women who worked before COVID. But the pandemic showed how inflexibility can cut both ways.

Employment by working mothers fell more sharply than for other groups during the pandemic. The Pew Research Center found that 2.4 million women left the workforce from February 2020 to 2021, compared to 1.8 million men. Women may have been disproportionately affected because they’re usually the primary caregivers, facing unique challenges.

Workplace flexibility, which has been the trend post-pandemic, appears to have helped reverse this. According to the US Department of Labor, in February 2024, there were more working mothers than before the pandemic.

Nicholas Bloom, a Stanford University professor who has studied the effects of hybrid and remote work, says that the right to work from home must be protected to keep women in the workforce.

“Supporting such schedules is going to give the biggest boost to female employment,” Bloom told me. “Hybrid and work-from-home schedules are one of the factors supporting parents — particularly, women — remaining in the workforce.”

“We know that the ability to be flexible at work is incredibly important when trying to keep women in the workforce,” Tanya van Biesen, the CEO of VersaFi, an advocacy group for women in finance roles, told BI. “It makes a difference both in attracting and keeping women at work.”

I believe I’m owed the right to work from home as a mother

While I’m lucky that my company has taken a hybrid approach, I believe more companies should allow women to work from home altogether so they can stay in the workforce.

The benefits I’ve noticed from working from home — both for my mental health and for the ability to raise kids in a way that makes financial sense — are unparalleled. That’s why I believe denying remote work to mothers should be considered indirect discrimination since women usually bear the burden of caregiving.

Why should I have to choose between being present for my children and having a career?

Ultimately, work-from-home is not a perk; it’s a shift toward creating a more equitable work environment for mothers.