On my first day in Kuala Lumpur, I posted the view from my apartment on my Instagram story and replied to messages from “jealous” friends.
Then, I put my phone down and realized I didn’t know a single person in the city.
I got bit by the travel bug during a working holiday in Australia in 2017, where I started dabbling in online writing.
When I got back to my home in the UK, I kept freelancing. With no office or set hours, I started to consider working abroad.
I thought being a digital nomad would offer unlimited freedom and the ability to make friends in other countries. But my expectations turned out to be very different from reality. Writing from a café all day without speaking to anyone was incredibly lonely, and keeping track of my expenses on the move was mentally taxing.
After spending nine months across 10 countries, I flew back to the UK in June 2019. I no longer travel as frequently, preferring to go on holidays where someone I know is either traveling with me or waiting on the other side. I find it much more fulfilling.
I thought becoming a digital nomad would help me save money
It can be hard to sustain a steady income as a freelancer, so I figured spending time in countries with a lower cost of living during the early stages of my writing career could be financially helpful.
Most digital nomads I followed online recommended saving three to six months’ worth of expenses prior to the trip for emergencies. However, in my excitement to see the world, I waited until I could cover my flight and the first few weeks’ accommodation, assuming I’d figure out the rest later.
I made a few embassy appointments and got my documentation in order for the countries I wanted to visit. I spent time in Australia to catch up with old friends before booking a ticket to Malaysia in January 2019.
Managing finances while travelling was stressful
A few days after landing in Malaysia, I was already counting pennies. I wanted to enjoy being in a new country, but didn’t want to empty my bank account within the first few weeks.
Growing up, my mum and I didn’t talk much about finances. When I started earning, I wasn’t well-versed in financial management.
By the time I reached Thailand, roughly three weeks later, I was telling myself I just needed one good month to get back on track financially.
But an unexpected expense, like a doctor’s appointment or an overweight baggage fee, always chipped away at my current account.
Some nights, I struggled to sleep, constantly wondering how I could feel so stressed with a lifestyle that enabled me to travel the world.
Living abroad was isolating
I tried to meet people at language learning events or at hostels, but as an introvert, it was difficult to talk to strangers. After a few weeks, I decided to keep to myself.
Meanwhile, I’d scroll through photos that friends back home were posting online: birthdays, nights out, people sitting around a barbecue. Their lives looked stable, whereas mine looked like guesswork.
I chose the transience of the digital nomad lifestyle, so I didn’t think I could complain. But every time I moved, I had to start all over.
New bus routes, new plug sockets, and, always, the loneliness crept in.
I lost motivation, struggled to focus, and stopped feeling like myself.
I now travel less frequently, but more intentionally
I was in Istanbul when I realized I hadn’t seen my mum in over six months.
I sent her a message asking if we could meet somewhere in Europe. A few days later, she booked a flight to Budapest, and we stayed together in a small Airbnb. We cooked dinner and watched a movie like we used to back home.
Even though we only spent a few days together, it helped me realize I didn’t need to travel to feel fulfilled. Connection was more important.
I stayed on the move for a bit longer, but since the COVID-19 pandemic in 2020, I haven’t gone back to long-term travel. I now live with family in Dorset.
I still travel occasionally and see it as a way to spend time with loved ones.
A few months ago, I went to Berlin with my dad. More recently, I visited my girlfriend in Boston, spending a week exploring bookstores and counting squirrels in the park.
Traveling is now less about a solo escape and more about being around people who make life worth living.
I still freelance in the UK, and I’ve had to learn from the financial mistakes I made abroad. I try to plan, track what I spend, and check if I can actually afford something before saying yes.
It sounds simple, but I’ve learned that simple money habits are often the most effective.
When people ask me what I do, I tell them I write, and I used to be a digital nomad.
“It sounds like a dream!” they often reply.
Parts of the digital nomad lifestyle were. I could technically work from anywhere, and I visited more countries in a few months than I ever thought I would in a lifetime. But I also went months without hearing my name or spending time with people who really knew me.
I wish someone had told me that before I left. Not just that travel can get lonely, but that one day I’d wake up, realize I hadn’t had a real conversation in weeks, and think that was normal.
Do you have a story to share about being a digital nomad? Contact the editor, Charissa Cheong, at ccheong@businessinsider.com
Read the full article here
